American Candide by Singh Mahendra

Author:Singh, Mahendra [Singh, Mahendra]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: Rosarium Publishing
Published: 2016-04-01T04:00:00+00:00

“PERHAPS WE SHOULD RETURN TO WOLLYHOOD,” said Sanjay as he drove their SUV along the steep, curving mountain roads. “This quest for a hidden Freedonian paradise is inflaming my latent Occidentalism.”

“That’s got to hurt,” replied our hero.

“You are correct as always, Mr. Candide. Occidentalism is the prejudiced fantasy of Freedonian life which many of my less enlightened countrymen entertain. It is a nightmare of blonde sex kittens, gun-wielding Christian mullahs, and shamelessly easy credit.”

“If only, huh?” said Candide. “Anyway, Doctor Pangloss used to talk about Kreationland all the time, and, if he were alive, he’d want us to check it out.”

Their journey through the mountains grew more difficult, and their powerful SUV labored to negotiate the winding roads that led them ever higher toward the legendary heartland of Freedonia. The air grew thinner, their ascent grew steeper, and the SUV’s speed lessened until they were barely crawling forward. Just when the machine could ascend no farther, the road leveled off. They had reached a plateau surrounded by lofty, snow-capped peaks beneath the crystalline dome of an azure sky interspersed with perfectly white, fluffy clouds. It looked suspiciously paradisiacal, and as they drove deeper into this concealed valley of verdant meadows, sparkling streams, and unspoiled forests, their suspicions were pleasantly confirmed.

Signs of human habitation appeared. Candide and Sanjay drove by endless miles of white picket fences and flocks of fresh-faced urchins eyeing the hot apple pies cooling on every windowsill. Tall, blonde-haired and blue-eyed gentleman farmers waved vigorously at Sanjay as he drove by their small but cozy plantation mansions.

These distractions were probably what led to their next mishap. As Sanjay was accelerating to overtake a convoy of little red wagons, each one of them piloted by a chubby-cheeked, golden-curled toddler, a gigantic, bird-like creature swooped upon their SUV. It was a pterodactyl, and it was trying to carry off their vehicle with its massive talons.

The shaken Sanjay struggled with the steering wheel, battling to escape the angry dinosaur’s clutches when a saber-toothed tiger leaped upon the hood of the SUV and began hammering at the windshield with its deadly fangs.

“Dude, do something,” shouted Candide. The vehicle began to rock back and forth, its steel body crumpling and fracturing under the impact of the angry creatures’ attack. Someone was shouting loudly in the distance.

“Hey, cut that out,” barked a man wearing a three-cornered hat and bifocal spectacles. The startled beasts slunk off quietly while Candide and Sanjay stared at their rescuer’s powdered wig, embroidered coat, and satin breeches.

“Those darn critters, they get spooked by strangers. They meant no harm though,” said the man, extending a friendly hand toward Candide. “Welcome to Kreationland, folks. My name’s Ben.”

“I’m Candide,” replied our hero, “and this is my personal assistant, Sanjay.”

Ben stared at Sanjay. “That’s quite some tan you got there,” he said.

He turned to Candide. “You must have gone through a lot to get here so I’ll show you around right away.” He motioned them to follow him as he began walking toward the houses in the distance.

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